A Trip to Remember

My husband and I took a quick trip to St. Louis with my parents this past weekend.  My Father is one of the biggest Cardinal fans I have ever known!  All my life I can remember my father watching and going to Cardinal games.  Many of my childhood vacation memories involve going to St. Louis and seeing the St. Louis Cardinals play a home game. My Father in his youth was a true athlete.  He played football, baseball, and basketball in High School and was really good at all of them.  So good in fact that many of his stats are records at his old High School that still stands to this day.  He tried to continue his athletic career into college, but that was not meant to be.  I grew up sitting next to my Dad on Sunday afternoons watching sports and learning the rules of the games.  Weather it was golf, baseball, football, or basketball he loved it all and we watched it all.  When I was old enough my dad insisted that I try to play basketball.  My dad trained and coached me for 3 years until we both realized that I did not have his natural athletic ability; but I learned a lot from him.

 

My Father turned 78 years old last Friday, and Saturday we drove him and my Mother to St. Louis to catch the Saturday night Cardinals baseball game against the Milwaukee Brewers.  The weather was perfect, it was a packed house, and the Cardinals won!  We chose a hotel that was close to the Stadium thinking that the five block walk would be fine, but immediately my Dad had trouble keeping up in the crowd.  I kept looking back to find him lingering about 5-8 people behind, as my mother was steadily increasing her pace ahead of us.  I would call out for Mom to wait on us as I tried to keep an eye on my Dad behind us.  My parents have been married to each other for 53 years, and they often march to the beat of their own drum, they don’t have the kind of relationship that would have them walking hand and hand.  My husband and I always try to walk hand and hand, but not long after we began to make our way to the stadium we struggled to hold hands while keeping an eye on both of my parents.  Being 52 years old, I think that being seventy-eight is pretty awesome, but I discovered that it certainly has limitations.  Because of old sports injuries, and a car wreck, my Dad has trouble walking.  Weather it is across the room or across a street, my father can barely pick his feet up.  He scuffs along at a much slower pace than most, but he never EVER complains.  He is constantly looking down at his feet to watch his step; then looking up to see where he is going.    As we walked to the stadium Saturday evening my husband and I decided that our return to the hotel would need to be by taxi.  I could not bear the thought of seeing my father fall and get hurt.  After the game we expressed our desire to grab a taxi back, but Dad adamantly refuse; expressing how ridiculous it would be to pay for a taxi to take us 5 blocks and that he would NOT be going in a taxi.  So we scuffed our way back to the hotel along with crowd of people.  In trying to be respectful to my parents, I struggle sometimes in communicating with them.  My parents are set in their ways and they prefer the comfort of their routine.  So when my Dad says, he wants to eat at the ballpark instead of a nice downtown restaurant, I find myself disappointed but obliging him at my husband’s dismay. 

 

Sunday morning early my husband and I went over to the Arch and paid for a Trip to the Top.  My parents have been to the Arch many times; in fact they could remember going to see the construction site right before the Arch was finished in 1965. The Gateway to the West is an amazing manmade structural accomplishment and I think it is a fabulous marvel.   It was surreal as I stood inside the top of that structure and looked down upon the city of St. Louis and the Mississippi River.   There are many fabulous structures throughout the world but I highly recommend The St. Louis Arch as a Must See --it is absolutely an impressive structure in many ways. 

 

All in all it was a good trip.  My Dad did not have much to say, but I could tell he really enjoyed the game, mainly because the Cardinals won.   He thought the prices were outrageous, the “new” stadium was nice, and that this would be his last time to visit St. Louis and see a live Cardinals game.  Mom says Dad says everything is his “Last!” This mindset was a strange revelation for me, but I suppose understandable.  I can’t help but wonder if he is feeling ok, and I realize that he would never say if he wasn’t.  The trip took us about 5 hours’ drive time, and once we got checked into the hotel room, my Dad wanted to take a little nap before the game.  So I can’t help but wonder if he is really doing ok or maybe not.  I understand mentally that my parents are aged in their seventies and coming toward the end of their lives; but I don’t see them that way or think of them that way.  My Dad said that he never thought that he would live to see his seventies, and that he sees every day as a bonus!  Yes they look older and they move slower, and they repeat the same things over and over, but my parents will always be just Mom and Dad to me.   They have their own ideas about everything and don’t mind telling you, and they have little patience; for each other or anyone.  They live their lives truly one day at a time, almost in slow motion as the days go by.  I know that they will not always be around to giggle at or listen to them repeat the stories, so I try and just smile and acknowledge them.  My Mom was the BEST cook in the entire world, and my Dad was the smartest and strongest man I ever knew!  I saw them as perfect and lucky to have them as my parents.  In my maturity I have learned that my parents were not perfect or the best, strongest, or smartest…but they were all of that for me… THEY WERE PERFECT FOR ME! 

 

I try to visit my parents at least once a month every month.  I look forward to my visits but then I often leave feeling melancholy.  I am fortunate that my parents are in fairly good health despite the fact that they do not trust doctors.  I am glad that we had this time together this past weekend, and that I was able to provide a nice outing for them.  They have a mini farm where they live and they refuse to be away for more than one night because of the chickens & roosters, but I think it is good for them to get away from there from time to time.  Living my life with addiction, I try to maintain a mental awareness that tomorrow is not promised for any of us, and that also helps me with my aging parents.  I hope to have many days in the future with them, but we will always have our memories of last weekend together despite what tomorrow brings.