My response to the Stigma of Addiction today.

I did something today. I spoke out, when usually I would NOT. I chose not to sit silently and just think to myself…I wish people would not make comments like this!
In response to an internet article I read this morning I wrote:
At: Mar 19 2014 09:54:59
As the mother of a Heroin addict your comment in your article...” um, better not to speak of the yard, unless you're a Hollywood location scout looking for somewhere for your heroin-addict protagonist to bottom out.” reinforced for me the stigma & ignorance that is shared throughout the world about those who suffer in real life with addiction.
The worst of the worst-- I believe is what you were trying to depict.
I am part of a group of people who actually knows about addiction, I have done my research because someone I love suffers from that disease. And I am writing to YOU today to let you know that you, with your comment, you have promoted a stigma that does nothing to make this world a better place, in fact comments like yours do just the opposite!
As a writer, and especially as an editor, you two should try a little research and be less offensive with your “cleaver” writing skills and comments. You might as well have said….”a Hollywood location scout looking for a suburban neighborhood yard where a family that suffers from cancer might live.” … or “someone who suffers from a mental illness or AIDS might die.” Oh but wait you would never do that would you? Was that really the BEST description you could come up with? Why not describe something deliberate…like that of a Slum Lord? Just for the record, for many addicts to “bottom out” often results in death!
My son struggles with his disease…and those with no sympathy or compassion for people struggling with something they obviously know nothing about, should not be allowed to write about that or be on the internet. Comments like your Ms. ______promotes stereotyping, ignorance, hate, and uncompassionate diarrhea of the MOUTH! Do you think that anyone WANTS to be a heroin addict? REALLY??????
Addiction is NOTHING to try and be cleaver and/or funny about!!!!!! It is a real and serious life threatening disease for many, many people. If you want to write about something, why not write about something that will make a difference in this world? e. g. Breaking the Stigma of Addiction might be a good place to start.
Try a little research and educate yourself. God forbid you or anyone in your family find themselves enthralled with the disease of addiction. Here is a place where you can start.
http://www.heroesinrecovery.com/
Sincerely,


The returned response:
Thanks very much for taking the time to write. We appreciate your concern and will keep in mind the points you raised about the stigma that addicts face.

Sincerely,

I believe that by nature most people are GOOD and compassionate, but often their fear of the unknown can produce a rush to judgment without a real understanding. Anything with unpleasant and negative social symptoms will be judged harshly by society. No one wants to be the victim of theft, heartache, or false witness, all of which comes along with loving or even knowing an addict.
Only when the research, education, and knowledge about addiction from the scientific community are understood by society can we begin to make real progress in controlling this disease. Often education is the key to compassion and compassion is key to outreach. Without outreach all the knowledge and research in the world can’t change anything. I have discovered that many people work very hard to break the stigma of mental illness and addiction on a daily basis and I only want to help in that endeavor how I can.
There is a legitimate need for many more affordable and accessible treatment programs in this country and around the world. With more knowledge and compassion about the disease of addiction more philanthropic people can help bring about more options that can really begin to make a difference.
In my message, I mentioned Cancer, Mental Illness, and AIDS being similar with Addiction. I want to be clear here that the similarity that I speak of is in the STIGMA that each of these diseases know, in the classification of “Disease”. noun
1.
a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body resulting from the effect of genetic or developmental errors,


The insensitive way that society thinks of such things can only be mended by those of us who know differently. Years ago I thought I knew about addiction but I did not. I merely was going on what I had seen in the movies or by what other’s had told me based upon their experiences, heresay not learned knowledge. I found my way to a new understanding based on research and education, but I got there from a place of fear. I was so fearful that my son would die I went in search of healing for my son, but what I found was understanding, compassion, knowledge, and healing for ME!
I am so grateful for TODAY, my life, and this world.

A Hugs Worth

Some people are not "huggers", but I am. I am usually the first one in our family to open my arms for a hug; to get or give...it matter little to me a hug is a hug. My twin 16 year old stepsons always stop in front of me when they are leaving to head back to their Mom's house to wait for that goodbye hug from me. They do not offer up hugs to me, but they accept my hugs because they have come to know that to refuse would be futile.

A hug can be so powerful, so simple, and so universal. You almost always get hugged back if YOU are the one who begins that process. If you need a feel good moment, a distraction from your day, just search "free hugs" on YouTube and you will see something pretty awesome.
You would think that something so simple would be so easy, and especially for me, the resident hugger in the family. But something happened that turned my "hugger" instinct off. I was caught off guard.
I have learned over the past year or so that if I find myself in a situation where I don't know what to do, I try and not "do" anything or say anything. I think that is what happened, but it has really bothered me.

Our town held a Children's Mardi gras parade in our downtown area. This was a non-motorized event for little and big kids alike. A dress up event; with face painting, balloons, masks, cookies, music, and lots of fun. I decided that it would be fun to take my son’s children as part of their visit with Nana (that is me).

It was a festive event, the weather held out, and our other two grand children also came with their Mom and Dad. We had just finished watching the parade of all the little tykes marching around the block when it happened. Out of the blue my son showed up, all smiles and happy to see his kids, but looking very grungy and unkempt. The kids were thrilled to see their daddy who they rarely see anymore. I was surprised he showed up at all, we had already been there over an hour and the festivities were winding down. When we first arrive to the downtown area my granddaughter told me ..."Daddy is going to come too Nana", but things were winding down and his appearances are really unpredictable these days. I was shocked to say the least at his appearance, I did not know what to say other than "Hey Son" when he said hello. I stood their shocked and concerned for my only son who looked like an unshaven, dirty, homeless person. I said nothing to him, but I smiled a lot at him as he interacted with his children. But here is the kicker to this story...It is about what I didn't do rather than what I did that caused me great remorse. I did NOT offer my heroin addict son that all too familiar token of my love...A HUG. We ended up giving him a ride to the house where he has been "staying" after he refused to go to lunch with us. We dropped him off and said our goodbyes, and still no hug from Mom.

It was later that afternoon, after we had taken the grand kids back home to their Mom's house, when the thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

WHY DIDN'T I HUG HIM?
TODAY MAYBE THE LAST TIME THAT I SEE MY SON, WHY DIDN'T I HUG HIM??????????

This thought repeated in my brain a hundred, no a thousand times. Why???????????????????

Today, it matter not the "Why?” the only thing that matters is that I never let that happen again!

I hope I learned a very tough lesson that I will not EVER forget.
No matter how shocked, surprised, upset, I ever get I will always hug my son when I see him from now on!
For me, this is one way that I will NOT do nothing! Hugging is doing something- I think this will become my new motto.

A Southern Surprise Snowfall

I love how Mother Nature has her way of surprising us again and again.  Every winter here in the south I wish for just one big snow event.  One that will close the schools down and make travel impossible so that we all can stay home for just one snow day and play, drinking warm drinks, and eat something decadent and comforting  foods.  Usually by the time March gets here I am over the whole winter idea.  I am usually sick of the cold rainy winter season that we have here in Tennessee.  By March I am ready for springtime and I lose any desire for snow or ice, or snow days.  And more times than NOT, March is when we get hit with it and I am caught off guard and surprised every time.  Even a metrological prediction of the possibility of snow in March I tend to disregard as suspect.

Last Sunday night we got about a ½ inch of ice topped off with a couple of inches of snow.  The ice was the kicker and it brought our town and state to a standstill.  The Governor closed all state offices at about 10 am the day after.  Better late than never I suppose.  My surprise day off work included working on a puzzle and baking brownies, two things I rarely do.  My husband worked from home as he often does, and later in the afternoon we went for a brief walk in the snow, ice, and 20 degree temps.  I discovered that even though the ice and snow can cause issues that the South is not as prepared for as our Northern citizens, I do so enjoy a little bit of that frozen precipitation.

The winter wonderland that the snow and ice can bring is beautiful.  Thankfully we did not get so much ice to cause a lot of power outages or a lot of damage from falling trees.  Everything is brighter outside due to the white covering.  Even at night the street lights are not needed due to the brightness the snow.   Our midtown neighborhood is strangely quite, with less people on the roads and the low temps keeping folks inside.  The only disturbing sounds were the cracking ice in the trees when the wind would blow.   Another aspect that I love about snow events is how everything that gets covered by the snow appears so clean and softly rounded by the accumulated snowflakes.  Even the most unkempt junk yard looks better covered in snow.  The softness that the snow covering bring provides an easy backdrop that makes everything seem nicer in a way. 

About 4 months ago I purchased an AWD vehicle; the occasional snow day is why I did.  Ice is ice, but for some reason the AWD gives me the confidence that I needed to drive in those elements.  The main streets were easily passable with at least one lane clear, but parking lots, secondary roads and side roads, driveways and turning lanes are literally sheets of ice.  The weather forecast is for above freezing temperatures today, which will help to clear away all driving surfaces.  Our little snow covering all together will be gone from sight in less than a day, but that little snow event brought me a lot of joy and surprise.