Judge NOT!

I haven’t had much to say lately.  My son is at a 30 day rehab in another city and he has completed about 10 days so far.  The weeks leading up to him entering detox and then finding a rehab facility have been trying to say the least. 

 

For two years I have hoped and cried that my son would find his way back to recovery; and now that he is there and working toward that goal, I just don’t know what to say.  It’s a weird silence inside me; a calm and reserved feeling deep inside—like I don’t want to be too happy but I am so relieved he is there!  I know that his recovery will take a lifetime, and so to get excited today seems pointless to me.

 

The other day as I flipped through Facebook reading the many post of my so called “Friends”, there was a part of me that wanted to yell a ‘Status’…   

 

·         Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers about my son!  He is doing well and we could not be more proud that he has made the decision to take back control of his life and fight this disease of addiction.

·         Oh wait …never mind---- none of you have even asked about him!

But I didn’t.  Facebook is full of silly, mindless, sad, funny things all of the time.  The thought that Facebook Friends are REALLY my friends is ridiculous!  It is just High School, with a way to see photos of loved ones and other family members who live far away for me.

 

This fight my son is fighting has been going on a long time now, and it will continue on for the rest of his life.  I really don’t think they ( my so called friends) want to hear about it, because they don’t understand it and don’t know what to say.  They are “ignorant” (if you will) about addiction, simply because they don’t have a loved one who suffers from this disease and have not taken the time to learn.  I was ignorant about this disease for a very long time, and I don’t pretend to know everything about it now; but I have learned a lot purposefully in the past two years.

 

I use to have a bumper sticker back in the 90’s on my car that said “Mean People Suck”, and for the most part it’s true, but- in my humble opinion -mostly mean people are just ignorant people. 

I pierced my belly button, nose, and tongue back in the 90’s too -- all for different reasons but with one main goal; to force people to look past a visible nonconforming look and not judge me for it.  I had very mixed reactions from a wide range of different people- and I was judged harshly by many, even my loved ones.

 

I have always lived in the southern United States, and we “Southerners” have a reputation for conformity and our way is the best way you know!  The ‘old school thinkin and judging folks’?... well that is just what we do down here! 

 

Now I am not beating up on the Southern Gentlemen and Ladies; everybody knows we all judge each other, and I consider myself a Southern Lady!  But, we ALL do this when we see someone who is not like us or challenge us; those who look different, sound different, smell different, and act different!   But this comes from a place of pure ignorance and fear.

 

So judge NOT least ye be judged!  As the verse goes- Right?

 

In the spirit of…take what you need and leave the rest…

I tweaked the serenity prayer the other day to try and help me out with MY judging all those “friends” of mine on Facebook who have not ONCE asked about how my son was doing.

 

God grant me the serenity to NOT JUDGE anyone.

To accept that IGNORANCE has and always will EXISIT.

And, the wisdom to be QUITE about that.

 

 

I figure it is not my place to go around telling other people what I feel is right and wrong anymore; after all I am just one person trying to figure it out day by day.  Most days I fail at being the best human being I can be, but the beauty is with every sunset and every sunrise, I get a do over and I try again!  Just like an addict.

 

Some days are better than others.  And then some days are even pretty great to where I don’t think I could feel or be any happier than I am at that very moment.  And those days are the days that I try and hold on to.  Those are the days that erase the bad days from the memory banks in my mind.  I don’t want to judge anyone!  And with God’s help, I will try, every day, very hard not to do judge!