Addiction, death, and now murder?

I was so fearful that my son would die I went in search of healing for him, but what I found was understanding, compassion, knowledge, and healing for ME!
As a mother I of course blamed myself, I must have done something to raise him this way; for him to want to escape reality, be a bum and do drugs all the time. Just as my son did not choose this for himself, I did not make him “that way”.
My son did not decide to become a heroin addict; I believe that addiction was lying dormant in his brain. When my son tried his first cigarette, and then his first beer, it began. Slowly at first but then it progressed, then wine, whiskey, pot, pills. Like…that beer was good, but that pill was better. Progression is part of the disease, and now my son has found his way to heroin.
For an alcoholic, they do not start out drinking in the morning or drinking mass volumes of alcohol right away, it begins slowly and then increases, the disease progresses. I do not believe that any substance is a gateway to another. If orange juice provided the same response to an addicts brain that heroin does, orange juice would be the means by which an addict would find a release for his disease. I believe that the disease is not in the heroin, but is hard wired in the brain. My son’s brain tells him that his ONLY need in life right now is heroin, getting heroin and using heroin. You can replace the word heroin with different substances or even behaviors.
Anyone who has been given morphine in hospital has had a substance very similar to heroin but those people are not discharged from hospital as heroin addicts. Millions of people can enjoy a glass of wine with dinner and not become an alcoholic. It is the compulsion, the mental desire that makes an addict keep using over and over and over. Side effects of the drug or behavior of choice can create additional problems. Over doses, legal issues, physical side effects. But, all addicts suffer mental anguish of addiction regardless of the substance or behavior. The feeling of never being satisfied, without that substance or behavior, that is the essence of the addicted brain.
I heard a well know recovering alcoholic say once that he sure was glad he never tried drugs, because he no doubt would have been a drug addict instead of an alcoholic. He of course is making light of his struggle with addiction. For Alcoholics their drug of choice is legal to posses, readily available, and socially acceptable.
There is a stigma that comes with the word “Addiction” a stigma of “Choice”. Just as no one chooses Cancer, no one chooses Addiction. Just as certain activities can increase your chances for Cancer, smoking, tanning, etc. there are also certain activities that can increase your chances for Addiction, but I don’t see any PSA teaching that on my television.
There are no warning signs and there are no laboratory tests. Addiction is a recoverable disease, but it can also kill. One of the most successful treatments for addiction, once an addict has found sobriety and is looking for abstinence, has been The 12 Step Program. The 12 step Program can help anyone, and I happen to think that it is a wonderful tool for LIFE. The 12 steps alone cannot cure someone who suffers from addiction but it has certainly helped millions of addicts take control of their disease. I am not an addict, my son is. We (he and our family) are all just trying to find our way in life, and I can say that the Al-Anon steps have certainly helped me, and continue to do so.

But now everything has changed and someone has died, overdosed. Murder is being charged by our local police. Maybe the victim was not known as an intravenous drug user, and the accused being a known addict and “estranged” husband is why these charges have come about. This accused is a friend of my son’s, they have been friends since childhood and they both suffer from addiction. My son is involved somehow, has been subpoenaed and this whole situation is very upsetting. I just cannot imagine this young man being capable of first degree murder at all. I know that the stigma of addiction can carry with it irrational selfishness, but murder? Now a heroin over dose is murder in our town, and my son is involved. I am holding on to my calm here, I accept that there is nothing I can do to help either this young man, or my son. I just hope that the truth in this matter is sought out and found ---whatever that may be!